Transitions in Marriage

As we continue our exploration of marriage within the greater context of family we will discuss significant transition points in marriage. These transitions include the wedding, initial marriage, introduction of children, and inclusion of additional children.

In order to understand the family we need to see the transitions that must necessarily happen as family members are added and roles change. To fail to make these adjustments would limit the family to meet the needs of its members as these needs change. It is therefore easier to see the danger of overly rigid family boundaries.

Take the opportunity to see the choices and opportunities afforded at each of these transition points. Failure to see and act upon these opportunities would be to miss out on some of the greatest resources afforded.

"Meanwhile, mortal misunderstandings can make mischief in marriage. In fact, each marriage starts with two built-in handicaps. It involves two imperfect people. Happiness can come to them only through their earnest effort. Just as harmony comes from an orchestra only when its members make a concentrated effort, so harmony in marriage also requires a concerted effort. That effort will succeed in each partner will minimize personal demands and maximize actions of loving selflessness." -Elder Russell M. Nelson

 With family roles we discussed how these roles slightly change when a baby is born into the family.

Baby: Needs complete help with everything in it's life. It can't do anything on it's own so the responsibilities lie souly on the parents. 

Mother: Must now nurture an infant that cannot do anything for itself and still have enough energy to do everything else in the day.

Father: Must now protect, provide, and preside for the mother AND the child. Plus he must have ambition to come home and love on both the mother and child.

When a baby comes in to a home it is important that couples keep their intimacy going through talking  and communication, since they cannot do anything physically for a while. Life can get really stressful and hard after a baby enters the world. He/she has to be fed every two hours and in between that they will need diaper changes and lots of naps. Often babies are so tired that they can't fall asleep and so they just keep crying. This is when it starts to get stressful because the parents are in dire need of sleep just to function. The stress becomes apparent in the relationship and can create stress on the couple. Often divorce occurs after a child is born because of the lack of physical intimacy and sleep deprivation. Be aware that this is struggle point for all couples and that you can make it through it. Ask for help from family and friends so that you can get some extra sleep while they take care of your baby for a little while.