Marriage in the Late Years

Here is a section from the book Tuesdays With Morrie by Mitch Albom:

Morrie: "I've learned this much about marriage," he said. "You get tested. You find our who you are, who the other person is, and how you accommodate or don't"
Mitch: I there some kind of rule to know if a marriage is going to work?
Morrie smiled. "Things are not that simple, Mitch."
Mitch: I know.
Morrie: "Still, there are a few rules I know to be true about love and marriage. If you don't respect the other person you're gonna have a lot of trouble. If you can't talk openly about what goes on between you, you're gonna have a lot of trouble. And if you don't have a common set of values, you're gonna have a lot of trouble. Your values must be alike."
"And the best one of those values, Mitch?"
Mitch: Yes?
Morrie: "You're belief in the importance of your marriage."

Whether a couple is newly married or celebrating a 50th wedding anniversary, creating and maintaining a mutually satisfying, stable, vibrant marital relationship takes time, effort, and a shared commitment about the importance of marriage.

Principles Underlying Successful Marriages

• Personal commitment to the marriage covenant
• Love and friendship
• Positivity
• The ability to accept influence from one's spouse
• The respectful handling of difference and the ability to solve problems
• Continual courtship throughout the years.

Challenges Facing Mid- and Later- Life Couples

Empty Nest - The natural process of launching children can cause strain and uncover marital difficulties for many couples because they have allowed distance and differences o grow over time. 

Retirement - Retirement struggles are often more linked to men . Retirement may represent bigger obstacles for retiring men, particularly those with little day-to-day household labor. 

Physical decline - Gordan B. Hinckley said, "More and more we are living longer, thanks to the miravle of modern science and medical practice. But with old age comes a deterioration of physical capacity and sometimes mental capacity. I have said before that I have discovered that there is much of lead in the years that are called golden."

Caregiving - Whether for a parent or a spouse, is truly tension of opposite where a person can feel isolation and connection, burden and joy, sorrow and peace. 

Here is a video of a couple that have severe disabilities but they push through together with smiles on their faces. 

The Loss of Loved Ones - Loss of loved ones can pose problems for mature couples. Mourning, grief, and suffering are natural by products of a loving relationship severed, although temporarily by death.

Addressing old wounds - Elder Hugh W. Pinnock shared the following story

A couple... married later in life; the wife had been married before, but it was the husband's first marriage. After several months of marital bliss, a serious disagreement erupted that so hurt the husband emotionally that he could not function at his daily tasks. As he reeled from the impact of this confrontation, he stopped to analyze the problem and realized that at least a part of the problem had been his. He went to his bride ans stammered awkwardly several times, "I'm sorry, Honey." The wife burst into tears, confessing that much of the problem was hers, and asked forgiveness. As they held each other, she confessed that in her experience those words or apology had not been used before,and she now knew that any of their future problems could be worked out. She felt secure because she knew they both could say, "I'm sorry"; "I forgive"