Parenting in Love, Limits, and Latitude: Proclamation Principles and Supportive Scholarship

LOVE

Love is the first of three characteristics of authoritative parenting. President Gordan B. Hinckley said:

Every child is entitled to grow up in a home where there is warm and secure companionship, where there is love in the family relationship, where appreciation one for another is taught and exemplified, and where God is acknowledged and His peace and blessings invoked before the family altar.

Children are less aggressive and more sociable and empathetic if they have parents who are more loving, patient, playful, responsive, and sympathetic to children's feelings and needs. Children are less likely to push limits and seek attention through misbehavior when they feel that they are a high priority in their parents' lives.

LIMITS

Finding ways to effectively help children learn how o regulate their own behavior in noncoercive ways is one of the most challenging parts of authoritative parenting. Determining how and when to tighten or loosen the reins requires considerable creativity, effort, and inspiration. In all cases, discipline or correction should be motivated by a sincere interest in teaching children correct principles rather than merely to exert control, exercise dominion,or vent anger.As they apply limits to a child's behavior, authoritative parents must again make a conscious effort and use good judgment by taking into consideration the developmental level of the child and the child's individual temperament.

LATITUDE

The third component of authoritative parenting is latitude, or autonomy. Children benefit from being given choices and appropriate levels of latitude to make their own decisions in a variety of domains. Children learn and grow by learning how to make choices within limits that are acceptable to parents. (Example: allowing a child the option of taking the trash out in the evening or in the morning before school; asking whether he child would prefer hot or cold cereal.) Whenever possible, supporting children's autonomy in this manner helps children view adults as providers of information and guidance rather than as deliverers of messages of control. When children have been taught principles of truth, internalize correct principles, and have many opportunities to make choices within an environment of love and concern, they are more likely to learn to choose wisely.